people keep telling me I need to update this. I guess I do. I have a new job and my boss buys me drinks at work so I accept out of politeness. If i had worked there for a while i could refuse but since I just started I need to fit in to keep the job. but I am very strict with myself about only drinking when he offers me a shot. I don’t drink at my other job or when i go out or at home and when i drink there its only when a shot is offered. so i guess I’m justifying it. that sounded very defensive. but I feel that I am still solving the problems i mentioned earlier even with this exception to the rule. And lets stay focused here :P
also seriously guys i’m not blogging every day about not drinking…
Last night was my first sober night, and I had a lot of fun!! I hope this is easier than I initially thought. Today I feel fresh and great :D but off to work at the bar now…
I started the day not with a hangover but with much contemplation of the past few years of my life. I say my drinking has gone in waves but the waves are getting bigger. up until today I have been drinking every day and getting drunk upwards of 5 times a week. This has a lot of negative repercussions.
1. it supresses my creativity
2. it creates a dependency on alcohol as part of my personality and I can’t be myself without it. hence I am never really myself
3. I do things that arent respectful to others
4. physically I get shakey and nervouse when I dont drink
5. it’s expensive
6. its hard on my body
I am looking forward to showing my friends who I really am and to having complete uninfluenced control over my actions. I would like to do this as an experiment, and I am giving it a 1year time limit I hope that I can learn a lot this year, read a lot, make a lot of art, help a lot of people, be productive with my time and energy and get closer to my goals.
It’s always easier to follow through with things when they are public and there is that possibility of somone watching you. So I am blogging about this, my rough days my successful days, my slip up days I don’t want to hide anything and hopefully this will prove to be one of the better decisions I’ve made.
-no alcohol
-no mind altering drugs
